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   Welcome to my blog! I'll be posting thoughts about art, photos, happenings, and other things that strike me--and hopefully my readers--as interesting. And please visit my website by clicking the link to the right--thanks!

   Also please check out my second blog, The Painting Archives to see older (pre-2004) paintings for sale.

Monday, January 29, 2018
Back in mid-summer my younger son, Ross Ticknor, came up with an idea for something he wanted us to do together--a podcast about art, the creative process, travel, and art business. He envisioned each episode as a conversation between the two of us, with an occasional interview conducted by me with a guest artist. With his knowledge of digital recording and editing (he has produced several audio books) he believed that we could do a professional sounding job. He felt that it would be a new way for me to connect with other artists and people who appreciate art. 

Ross is a convincing person and always has been--even as a little kid, he would go after things he wanted--not by whining or demanding--but by stating his well thought-out case calmly and reasonably. Although my reaction to his idea was mixed, and a bit hesitant, he won me over. I worried about coming up with content every week, and felt a bit of stage fright even considering the thought of my voice going out to unseen listeners, but I loved the idea of having an ongoing, collaborative and challenging project with my son. 

An early task was to find a name for the podcast. I half-jokingly suggested The Messy Studio (anyone who has been in mine or seen photos knows that is quite descriptive). We didn't seriously consider it though until we'd run through a number of other ideas that all seemed dull in comparison  At some point Ross said, "You know, I actually like The Messy Studio" and I realized that I did too. Although it's a bit quirky it also has some depth; while lots of artists manage to have very clean studios, in the big picture the creative process itself is rarely tidy or well-organized. And so the name stuck. 

Our first recording was made in August with both of us crowded into the walk-in closet at our house in Wisconsin (fabric is good for the acoustics). That location is still our main recording studio. When I'm in New Mexico, and Ross is back in Wisconsin, he uses the closet and I drape blankets around a corner of my bedroom. As Ross commented, "who would imagine that making blanket forts would be part of your professional life." Of course, we're hoping to upgrade to a more permanent recording location at some point. But it's good to realize that everything doesn't have to be ideal in order to launch a project. 

The New Mexico recording studio/blanket fort

The recordings that I make with other artists are less controlled in terms of background noise -- a truck roared by outside when I spoke with Jeff Hirst in his urban Chicago studio, the Irish wind and rain can be heard faintly in the recording with Joanna Kidney, and Kai Harper Leah's dogs occasionally added their comments from the next room. But for now, Ross and I accept these quirks and hope they add to the atmosphere and reality of the setting.

As I write this, we have six episodes available for listening, and the response has been very gratifying. We are approaching 2000 downloads, with over a quarter of these coming from more than a dozen countries outside the US. My talks with Jeff, Joanna, and a round table discussion with Randall Exon and Una Forde at Ballinglen Arts Foundation in Ireland are now online, while other artist interviews with Janice Mason Steeves and Nuala Clarke are in the pipeline. 

I've gradually begun to relax about the idea of my voice being heard by so many people--at first I sometimes lay awake at night after a recording wondering anxiously if what I'd said made sense, or if I might have offended someone or overstated a point. Fortunately, it is not a live show! But the truth is that is difficult to change the content. So far, what you hear is the total of what was recorded, minus some edited-out coughs and false starts.  Ross and I did ditch one entire episode in which we both sounded tired and unfocused. Our format is conversational, but we want to stay on topic, so we now use a rough outline of what we want to cover. 

Podcasting is a challenge in terms of allowing a conversation to evolve naturally while also keeping it on track. Making it coherent is very different than when I write, my usual means of online communication. When I write a blog post, I do a lot of deleting, cutting and pasting to produce a coherent flow. Obviously, in a recording, that cohesion has to happen in the moment.

Another thing I'm learning to be aware of is that in ordinary conversation there is a lot of drifting and rambling. People also tend to interject "OK" and "right" too often, interrupt each other, and laugh at odd moments. When you are caught up in a recorded conversation it can be hard to remember to not only keep it on track but to limit "ums", chuckles, and other unnecessary vocalizing. These can be very distracting in a podcast. 

My official Messy Studio portrait

Those are some of the practical challenges that we've been working on. However Ross and I both feel we're off to a good start, and overall the recording sessions are satisfying and engaging. Once things get rolling in a podcast session, I find that I enter an intense state of concentration in which I can almost see ideas as they weave together. Whether it is Ross posing questions to me, or me speaking with other artists, the focus on what is being said needs to be very strong. The conversation at times enters deep and revealing territory, with surprising insights that the people conversing had not realized. 

I find a special pleasure in interviewing other artists--hearing their unique stories and perspectives. It makes me realize how seldom in ordinary circumstances we take the time to ask questions of other artists, listen intently, probe into their process, explore their ideas. As one artist said to me, "how come we don't talk like this more often?" 

One of my goals for 2018 is to learn from other artists, past and current, through reading and watching interviews and documentaries. I can see that my own podcast will also be a way toward this goal, as well as helping me to be more articulate about my own art life. 

I invite you to listen to The Messy Studio and if you enjoy it, to subscribe, and to leave a ranking and comment on ITunes. We also appreciate your suggestions for topics that you feel would be if interest to a general audience of artists and art appreciators--just leave a comment.. 

Sunday, January 07, 2018
  memory and presence

Worn Away 
16" X 16", oil/cold wax/mixed media on pan

This morning I was immersed for awhile in Maria Popova's excellent weekly newsletter, Brain Pickings, a compendium of philosophical musings by writers from many perspectives, their common thread an investigation of what makes our lives rich and meaningful. Her post this week featured one of my favorite writers, the Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue. Clicking on one of the links, I was led to an excerpt of his writings on the role of memory in our creative lives. He wrote: 

It is crucial to understand that experience itself is not merely an empirical process of appropriating or digesting blocks of life. Experience is rather a journey of transfiguration. Both that which is lived and the one who lives it are transfigured. Experience is not about the consumption of life, rather it is about the interflow of creation into the self and of the self into creation. This brings about subtle and consistently new configurations in both. That is the activity of growth and creativity. 
I love this quote, acknowledging how closely my painting is tied to memories of wild places in the landscape, and the feelings I associate with them. It's the basis of the visual language that I've developed over the years, and has grown and changed with new layers of experience. 

What is it that allows some experiences to become integrated into one's deeper self--and so to become part of an ongoing and growing creative process? It may seem like a contradiction, but I think there is a connection to another philosophical belief, expressed by writers such as Eckhart Tolle--the importance of the moment, of the Now. When you're truly present in a moment, it seems to me that moment then becomes--as memory--part of your creative journey. 

I'm not thinking here of the kind of memories that are so significant they have an obvious imprint--a wedding, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one. It's the mystery of why some memories stand out in the more ordinary flow of life. As an artist, I'm especially curious about those that lodge in memory as visual impressions, combined with inner response of pure emotion. For myself, I realize that many of the memories that feed my work happened as a result of being very present, in the moment, and allowing what I was experiencing to push aside other thought and interpretation. Simply being and experiencing. 

I love it when what comes through in my work is not only conscious observation of colors and textures in nature, but also the more mysterious source of memory, a by-product of O'Donohue's "journey of transformation." Accessing these memories in a way that allows for creative interpretation, rather than literal depiction, is an ongoing challenge. It seems to happen best when I shut off inner narrative and enter a more intuitive flow. Memories can then become their essence of visual impact and feeling, They can also intermingle, form new connections, cross barriers of time and location and the constraints of labels and verbal descriptions.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
  looking back, looking ahead
It's time for end of the year reflections and a few thoughts on what lies ahead...I'm back in Wisconsin for a few weeks, leaving behind the sun and warmth of northern New Mexico where we've been staying in our new winter home. The transformation of our 100-year old (and once decrepit) adobe into a simple but beautiful home has been a highlight of the past year. 

My studio in New Mexico is small, but I've done several large paintings since arriving there in late November. When we go back west after Christmas, I have plans to spread out a bit and do some water-based work on paper on the enclosed sun porch, along with additional  large paintings on panel. With two big exhibits coming up ( at Telluride Gallery of Fine Art, opening March 1, and at Jen Tough Gallery, opening May 11) I'm focusing on painting as much as time allows. I'll be away in Ireland for a month this spring, so productive studio time--especially for making large work-- is a bit tight. I've optimistically ordered a bunch of big panels though, and will do my best. 

Many Layers, 48"x36" oil/cold wax on panel
Strong shapes and contrast continue to feature prominently in my work; these changes have been asserting themselves in every painting lately, whether I invite them to or not! Sometimes it seems I'm just along for the ride, as over and over these elements come through. A question that Jerry and I often ask our students as they search for personal direction is "does this painting feel like you?" But with this work, I prefer the inverse...do I feel like this painting--each one ia presence that is strong, bold, dynamic, yet subtle and nuanced. It is exciting to work with this duality, and to recognize a personal as well as technical challenge. It's teaching me as I go...I want to understand and "own" this work, as I watch it unfold.

Shifting Light, 48"x36" oil/cold wax on panel

In other aspects of life--outside the studio--2017 was heavily impacted by the publication of my book, which I co-authored with Jerry McLaughlin, Cold Wax Medium: Techniques, Concepts & Conversations (Squeegee Press, Dec. 2016). The positive response from artists, critics, and bloggers has been overwhelming and gratifying, and the demand is such that we have just ordered a second printing. Squeegee Press keeps growing with new plans and products, including our upcoming full-length instructional video. This will cover everything that an artist would learn  in a five-day workshop, and more. To be honest, I'm a little nervous about making my film debut-- but fortunately we've found a really nice and very professional videographer, and I trust he'll bring out my best side. Jerry and I are putting a lot of thought into what we want to cover, and how best to reach our goal of a clear, clean, and well-paced video.

Lastly--as many of you know by now, I'm cutting way back on my teaching schedule in order to spend more time on my own work. I'm planning to semi-retire in 2018 from doing workshops, and will teach only two (both of which are full with long waiting lists). 

Of course, I have mixed feelings about making this change. Teaching has given me rich rewards, personal connections, and experiences. But at 63, I'm looking forward to a new phase of life in which I am not always juggling my calendar to accommodate everything. Painting, traveling, writing, exhibiting and working on Squeegee Press projects--along with just an occasional workshop--will be enough. I'm reassured to know that the book, the video, and the workshops run by my partner Jerry and other great instructors in the cold wax community will fill any gap I'm leaving.

A few years ago, I thought that 2017 might be the beginning of my semi-retirement--but somehow, it didn't turn out that way! Instead, I taught this past year in New Zealand, Italy and Ireland as well as in the Bay Area and New Mexico. All were excellent experiences, and some included extra travel and even painting time. I'm not intending to give up these great opportunities completely--I'm just aiming for a slower pace. 

As I move away from my former full teaching schedule, I want to express deep gratitude for all of my students over the years. Their trust, enthusiasm and support has given me the opportunity to grow as an artist and person, and it feels really good to know I've been helpful to others. Before I began teaching, I used to sometimes view my life as an artist as too narrow, too self-absorbed. Teaching changed that completely. And there was a bonus I'd never anticipated--what I would end up learning from my students as I helped them with their struggles, listened to their stories, and observed their unique approaches to art-making. 

Wishing you all Happy Holidays, and may we look ahead to 2018 with hope and optimism for for positive change in our own lives, and in the world. 

Sunday, November 05, 2017
  the whole
I'm back from a very satisfying time in Ireland, where I spent six weeks at the Ballinglen Arts Foundation in County Mayo. My exhibit in the gallery there, and the connections made and strengthened with other artists deepened my overall experience. Plus I taught some great people, had some wonderful visitors, and good adventures. 

This was my fifth time at Ballinglen and while many aspects of the landscape inform my work, each time I've been there a particular aspect of the surroundings has stood out as most compelling and important. The first year it was the rugged seacoast, and in other years it was the bog plants, the hedgerows, and the moving water of surf and stream. On a walk to the beach on my last morning in Ballycastle, I asked myself what had been most significant for me this time. 

Moving Water #1, acrylic on paper, 29"x38" 2016
It was a misty day, with the fields along the lane glowing in many shades of green, and the huge rocks on the shore appearing rugged yet soft in the atmosphere. Crows and seabirds flew overhead. The surf pulsed and foamed like breath, and the sand shifted and flowed where it met the sea. The kelp lay in odd lumps and twisted mounds. For a while I simply took this all in and thought of nothing much. Then the answer came...what was significant for me this time was everything...all of it, without labels or categories or boundaries. For a moment, on the beach, I sensed the perfection of everything fitting together in a magnificent whole. And that went beyond what I saw and sensed in this particular place--it was about the perfect interlocking of elements. The way that nature has a presence and rightness that arises from its individual parts but is more powerful than any one thing.

bog plants, County May0

As I walked back to Ballinglen I thought about this some more. What I experienced on the beach resonated with changes in my work over the past year or so. I've been looking for a different kind of expression, less tied to particular locations and more about the fitting together of parts. I've been interested in the idea that power and presence, intimacy and intricacy all exist together. That the deep beauty of the landscape arises from the presence of these seemingly contradictory elements. In my work I've been working with the strength of shape and contrast, while retaining the subtle and delicacy of texture and layered nuance. 

I have to smile a little at my circuitous journey with abstraction. Looking back, one of my first conceptual leaps-- about fifteen years ago-- was to realize that an essence of a place could be found in its details. Rather than the traditional view of landscape with its horizon lines and pictorial illusions, I began exploring the idea that the close-up textures of rock or the rich colors of foliage could convey a feeling of connection with nature in general, and relate to specific places as well. I don't think I have lost that idea-- the microcosm still fascinates me, and I continue to want parts of my work to reflect detail and specificity. But I also want to craft these parts into something strong, a fitting together of small bits and pieces into a bigger whole. And rather than evoking particular locations, I'm interested now in a more universal idea of the complex beauty and power of nature. 

Shelter, 42"x36" oil/cold wax on panel 2017

Passing Through, 24"x20" oil/cold wax on panel, 2017; painted at Ballinglen Arts Foundation

These ideas have been percolating for months, but I've only just begun to work with them consciously. I'm excited to see where they take me. With only one workshop left to teach in 2017 (next week in Oakland, with Jerry) I'm looking forward now to the winter months ahead--I'll be in New Mexico with Don through early March, painting (and maybe even relaxing a little!) A time to slow down and process. I am thinking about large work, and about perhaps returning to my old  multiple panel format as a way to introduce more contrast. Looking ahead, my teaching schedule in 2018 is by design very minimal. I want to make good use of the time I've cleared for my own work, and ideas are coming together... 
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
I've been at Ballinglen Arts Foundation in County Mayo, Ireland for just a month now. It's a place I love, and my stay this year has been made special by the exhibit of my work, Still/Moving, currently showing in the gallery. I'm copying my statement for the exhibit below, along with some photos of the work in the exhibit:

In Quiet Light. triptych oil/cold wax on panel, 24x20" each panel

Bay #1, #2, monotype with pigment stick, each image 14"x11"

I've been coming to Ballinglen Arts Foundation each year since 2013, pulled back each time by the dramatic coastline, the intricate colors and textures of the bog and the hedgerows, and by the ancient ruins and archaeological sites. The title of my show refers to these aspects of the landscape, as well as to my own feelings for this beautiful place which grow stronger upon each return. 

There is work in the exhibit spanning the time from my residency of a year ago to several pieces done since I arrived back this year in mid September. I’ve  included paintings in oil/cold wax, acrylic and mixed media, and prints (monotype, drypoint and chine colle.) This variety reflects what what I experience being an artist in residence here—it is a special time outside of ordinary life that offers a sense of freedom and exploration, both inside the studio and out.

Coastal #1 and #2, 24"x20" each, oil/cold wax on panel

Abandoned #1, #2, 14"x11" oil/cold wax on paper

My work is created intuitively—calling upon memory, emotion, and the visual impact of the surroundings here. I also respond to what my materials suggest to me as I go. This means working with a balance of spontaneity and control. That is, I allow the work to develop freely, yet at the same time I bring thought and consideration to the process. There is a rhythm to this that has taken many years to discover. 

Still/Moving #1, 12"x12" oil/cold wax on paper

Moving Water #1, 28"x39" acrylic on paper

Over the past five years my experiences in Mayo have had a strong impact on my work as a whole, including the ideas I carry back home and develop further. I’ve found new directions in shape, contrast, texture and line, and a powerful source of personal meaning and memory that is at the core of the work. —-Rebecca Crowell; Ballycastle, County Mayo, Ireland, 2017

The exhibit will be hanging through October 23. 
Friday, September 08, 2017
Last week I spent three days making prints in the Chicago studio of Jeff Hirst, refreshing my knowledge of monotype and learning about carborundum printing and chine collé . The idea of doing this took root in June when Jeff and I were on the summer faculty during the same week at Cullowhee Mountain Arts in North Carolina. I dropped in on his classroom several times that week, and saw enough interesting work going on to know that I wanted to learn from him myself. 

I love printmaking and have had an etching press in my studio for several years--once in a while I've made some monotypes, and I've also experimented with carborundum (a metal grit used to create textured printing plates.)  But I spend most of my studio time focused on painting in order to keep up with gallery demands and deadlines. So it was really a special treat to go to Chicago and work exclusively on prints, under Jeff's very capable direction. (On the side I also enjoyed a little of what Chicago has to offer such as great restaurants and the Art Institute.  But mostly I was in the studio and learning as much as I could.) 

some of my prints from last week

drypoint and chine colle

One technique that intrigued me in Jeff's Cullowhee studio was a simple one-- drypoint etching on plexiglass plates. Plexi is very easy to scratch into with a sharp tool, or more randomly with sandpaper or anything abrasive; the plexiglass plate can then be inked and run through the press. Because of the kind of sketchy lines I've been developing in my painting, this was a natural fit for me. In Chicago I experimented with these lines in combination with monotype and --chine collé  a method of adhering thin papers such as rice paper to the print surface. 

monotype and drypoint

carborundum print
I was also drawn to carborundum printing because of the rich darks it can produce, and the physical texture it embosses on the print. I discovered a number of things I'd been doing in my wn studio that--while not exactly "wrong"--were standing in the way of the effects I wanted. For example, I'd been using cardboard to make my plates, which compresses during printing, and I had not been shellacking them--a step that seals in the carborundum, makes it easier to clean and keeps the plate from deteriorating. I thought of people who come to my workshops and tell me they've been experimenting with cold wax on their own but can't seem to get good results. There is definitely something to be said for learning from a person with experience. Jeff was a great teacher--leaving me alone to explore but stepping in when I needed advice or to lend a hand with the actual printing process, which is often easier with an extra pair of hands. 

What is it about printmaking (especially the methods I worked with at Jeff's) that appeals to me so strongly? I began my college years as a printmaker but switched to painting when printmaking began to seem too indirect, too fussy, too neat. Yet I now find pleasure in all of these characteristics. Though it may lack the immediacy of painting, a printed image always holds surprises--it is transformed in unexpected ways as it travels from plate to paper. Once the plate is prepared, there is a sense of giving it over to fate, and in the best cases, a feeling that magic has occurred when the results are uncovered. 

pulling a print

I also find the "fussy" aspects of printmaking that once annoyed me strangely appealing now.There are tasks to perform "just so"--tearing paper, soaking and blotting, mixing and applying the ink, wiping it back, registering the plate, gently dropping the printer felts over the plate and paper, and delicate handling of the wet print as it is carried to a place to dry. In all of this, there is a ritualistic pleasure and a pleasing rhythm. 

monotype, drypoint and chine colle

I admit that one thing hasn't changed since college--I'm still challenged by the need to be neat and clean in the print studio (Jeff made several references to Pigpen in regards to my inking table) and frustrated by the sticky, hard to clean up inks.  My fingerprints kept showing up on the edges of clean paper, and at the end of the day the pile of dirty tools, tarlatans, rags and plates was daunting.  

But I admire a certain neatness to the process as a whole--an image is produced; it works or it doesn't. While there is some leeway for touching up and manipulating the final result, it is completely unlike my particular painting process, which goes on for days with endless iterations as I find my way to the finished image. In printmaking there is little room for second-guessing once the plate is run through the press. If there was a problem, Jeff and I would talk briefly about what might be done differently the next time, and then we moved on. Though I was exhausted at the end of each afternoon, overall I felt a sense of lightness, that nothing was really crucial--in all the best ways it was play, exploration, pure enjoyment. 

Friday, August 11, 2017
  traveling thoughts
I've been away from home for over two weeks now, traveling first in Croatia and Italy with my husband, Don, and now settled at Cascina Rodiani in Drezzo (in northern Italy near Como) for teaching two 6-day workshops. The first class is over and new students are arriving today. As someone who craves solitude, I have welcomed this small break. But I'm very grateful for all that has happened on this adventure so far, and for the many interesting interactions with people of various cultures and backgrounds. 

My thoughts about the effects of travel continue...in my last post I talked about recent changes in my work, and that I've become less interested in interpreting specific locations and more in a wider conceptual expression. But because life and art never seem to move in a predictable, linear way, in Drezzo I once again feeling the effects of specific location. It makes sense, with so many visual impressions from travel and new experiences. Now is a time to gather up ideas that may eventually fit in with the larger direction in my work. 

On this trip II've been soaking up color --the brightly painted houses in small villages, piles of fruits and vegetables in the market, beautifully arranged plates of food at nearly every meal, and rich patinas like on the old wine barrel below. 

I also love the quieter palette of white buildings with red tile roofs, the subtle green of the olive trees, the pale nuances of marble. During our time in Florence with my friend Allison B. Cooke and her husband, I took dozens of closeup photos of old walls and fragments of frescoes seen in the churches of San Marco and Santa Maria Novella;  there is a particular feeling in these ancient, worn surfaces of pale greens, gold, blues and pinks that strikes a deep chord.

So, in Italy, color has been on my mind in the works on paper I've done as class demos and on the side. It's an interest that has been brewing in certain works back at home, and I feel I am picking up some new visual ideas to carry back with me.

14"x11" oil/cold wax on paper....



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